Job Search Phone Fear And Going Blank
Here’s an interesting one, “going blank.” I find this can be a rather common situation when a job searcher is confronted by an obstacle on a networking or job lead cold call.
This was an admission from a job-search client I recently worked with. I had suggested to her that to separate from the pack (of job searchers) she should consider foregoing the usual trolling on job posting boards and to engage in a call-in campaign to targeted companies.
“I can’t,” she whispered with a slight tremble. “It’s easy for me to open the conversation. It’s easy for me to sound intelligent and relevant as long as the call is going well. But if I get a sudden no, or a why?, or some other kind of remark I’m not prepared for, I go blank. My mind turns off. I can’t access my brains database for the inventory of comebacks, responses, or objection-overcoming thoughts.” She was staring at me with that blank “no-one’s home-look” like she must have had when she found herself stuck on a call.
I bring this up to describe a bigger point. It’s not the issue of going blank, everyone can experience it. But the issue of the fear of going blank is the bigger issue. This client was so fearful of blanking out and feeling the embarrassment, she really had a problem in starting the calling process. And with this looming fear, she made very few calls. Not a good solution to finding a job.
You see, designing a plan for getting past the “going blank” is really pretty easy. It’s the fear that’s the bigger problem.
I helped her create a defense against freezing. Create a safety valve or a go-to emergency comeback strategy consisting of “restart questions.” It’s important to have a quiver of restart arrows to fire back with. Enough arrows to have a relative reply and redirect the conversation, but NOT more than just a few. These two were the ones I suggest for her and I suggest you think about these for you:
- Introduce an element of compassion. Ask for help from the person who just “stuck” you. You reply: “I understand your position. But this is very important to me.” …pause…. ”What would you recommend I do to pursue this further?” or Try this: “I understand.”…pause… ”I need your help. How would you suggest I proceed?” or “I understand. I need you help. What you suggest I need to do to improve my case?”
- Ask for a reload. Say: “I understand and then ask if you can try again later. Or, ask if you can try someone else. Or simply ask why your case isn’t getting where it needs to be?”
Notice that in each case I suggest beginning with, “I understand.” Its a way to introduce reconciliation or rapprochement (the reestablishing of cordial relations) before laying yourself at their feet and asking for help. It takes a hard heart not to give in to this type of request.
These type of questions create a couple of 2nd chances for you:
- You get a chance to catch your breath and hence a few moments for you to open your warehouse of ideas while they are responding.
- You put the ball into their court. It gives you an opportunity to listen for something to grab onto to further the conversation. I has a way of bringing them down from their defensive tower.
Again, this isn’t about the going blank. It’s about what you can do to thaw that freeze-up before the call is ended in embarrassment. Your reason to make a difficult call is yours. You’ve thought about it and your reasons are sound and good and justifiable. Your message should be pretty easy to develop. But when you get a reply you get stuck on, you need to think about a quick strategy angle. That’s when you unload your “safety valve question,” or any other comeback you think will reset the table.
Back to my client. She called me recently and enthusiastically boasted about getting stuck on a call. She had gone blank, but quickly turned to a “help me” strategy question. It worked. She was beaming that the results led her to being passed along to a national director, well past her expectation.
This just supports the belief that being prepared is one of the underlying cures for getting past phone fear and making the call.
Chet Baker
The Denver Resume Builder
Look for the upcoming book – “Overcoming Phone Fear.”
